I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
