you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize