To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize