so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
