it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
