i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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