That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
