i don't like sucking hair
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
