But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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