Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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