Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
