just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I have feelings that need drinking.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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