Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize