I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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