Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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