hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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