the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
