I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
In America we eat man semen.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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