My girlfriend figured out who you are.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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