I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
