Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
