I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
