she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
