Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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