For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
