Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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