yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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