Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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