we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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