You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
