physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
