Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
