You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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