Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
