Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
