you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
