I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize