Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Randomize
