If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
