Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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