He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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