i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
