have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
