So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
