I am midnight drunk by noon
no you cant smoke seaweed
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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