Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
