Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
