I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
