Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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