i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
