his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
