A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
