I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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