just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize