Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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