her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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