I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
worst night to have a conscience
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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