He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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