I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You need a sexual gate keeper
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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