..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
