I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Couch. On fire.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
