He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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