i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
