On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
as a side note pls kill me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
