guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
