I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize