It's like God shit irony all over that family
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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