I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Houston, we have a squirter
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
